2022-01(Jan)-14(Fri)—1138PST

Eastern ‘Orthodox’: ‘If you stare at your bellybutton long enough, you’ll see a mystical light — that’s God!’

2 Corinthians 11: “For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.”

2022-01(Jan)-14(Fri)—1119PST

If there exists any X, such that you, knowing that the suffering of X would — alone — lead to the conversion of Y person you love to Christianity, would not wish for Y to suffer X, then you do not understand the nature or the reality of Hell.

2022-01(Jan)-14(Fri)—1043PST

Lutherans: ‘Law and Gospel.’

EO: *incoherent chanting*

RC: ‘But what if Mary were God…’

Reformed: ‘God loves you… maybe.’

Baptists: ‘We hate babies.’

Pentecostals: *incoherent screaming*

Amerijelicals: ‘Jesus is my boyfriend.’