Category: Tweets Archive

Periodic reminder: I may seem mean, but I just want people to be truer Christians. Doctrine matters.

Are Sacraments administered by Baptists valid?

Baptism: Yes.

Lord’s Supper: Probably — and for Baptists hopefully — no.

Technically, Scripture tells me not to cast my pearls before swine — it says nothing about loading them into a cannon and using them as grapeshot.

How to produce a Hebrew manuscript:

Step 1. Acquire a chicken. (Don’t worry, this isn’t Yom Kippur.)

Step 2. Place paper in bottom of chicken pen.

Step 3. Firmly press chicken’s feet into ink pad.

Step 4. Loose chicken in pen.

Step 5. Collect completed manuscript.

Baptist arguments for immersion:

*reads Baptist confessions*

Hmm, yes, I can see why they’d want to de-emphasize confessions and creeds.

The great irony of Baptists accusing Lutherans (and others) of ‘turning Baptism into a work’ is that Baptists turn faith into a work — Baptist theology is works righteousness.

Outlawing adultery and fornication would be good for society.

If you were raised Baptist or non-denominational, ask yourself:

How much do I remember from the sermons of my youth?

If all that comes to mind is ‘Jesus loves me’ or ‘Jesus is angry about sin’, your pastors failed.

Not only would children have been baptized along with their households, but slaves and their children would also have been included.