Author: Corey J. Mahler, Esq., J.D., LL.M.

George Floyd died as he lived — a violent, drug-addicted felon and menace to society.

We are better in his absence.

We should resume building large cathedrals.

Any pastor who has an affair with a parishioner should be thrown from the highest church in his nation — anything less is an unwarranted mercy.

In an alternate timeline, with just a few small deviations from ours, our children are learning how to operate equipment for exploring exoplanets.

All artificial means of birth control should be banned.

*glances at the decaying corpse of American Evangelicalism*

To those advocating against liturgical services:

Are you sure you want to look like that?

For the record: Actual Lutheran doctrine and theology are not merely comfortable with Nationalism, but adamantly in support of it. History has borne this out.

Having numerous sexual partners actually causes (or at least exacerbates) mental illness in women.

People pushing sexual ‘liberation’ hate you.

Let’s just revoke the medical licenses of all doctors and nurses who decided to choreograph dance routines in response to a pandemic.

Chemical birth control should be banned.